bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
Randomize
