I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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