I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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