i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize
