he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Randomize
