i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
Randomize
