I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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