Do you still have your period?
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
I'm passing your future prison.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
Randomize
