do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
