Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
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