I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize