I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
Randomize
