That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
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