on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
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