Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
Randomize
