Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
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