STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
