I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
He shit in the fireplace
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
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