Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Randomize
