do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
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