Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
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