my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
Randomize