the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
