Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
Randomize
