Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
Randomize
