if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
