we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
Randomize
