During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
Congratulations! We have a period
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
