tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
