HIV tests are more positive than that guy
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
Semen is not good for contacts.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
BRING THE BAGELS
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
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