What did we do last night that was yellow?
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
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