if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
