38 yer olds are good kisserssss
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
Randomize
