At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
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