so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
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