Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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