Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
And the cops told us we were all naked.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
Randomize
