Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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