while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Randomize
