fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
