I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
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