i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
Randomize
