worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize
