Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
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