My nipple is on Facebook.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
Did we literally take a cab across the street
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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