You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
Randomize
