We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
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