you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
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