Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
