I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
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