Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
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