i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Randomize