I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
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