Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
Randomize
