She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
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