I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Randomize
