no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
Randomize
