Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
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