explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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