i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
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