how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
