i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
