guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
Randomize
